Joyfully Overloaded

Man of the Woods, Wow, 13! You birth me into motherhood every single day.  You and I we're entering uncharted territory. I'm excited and to be honest a bit scared.  These years are the transition years where you fully step out of childhood and step into adulthood. You have to really put into practice all the things we've tried to teach you. You have to decide what kind of man you are going to be. While we have to let you make mistakes and fall so you can learn while you're still in the safety of our home.  It's going to be weird for all of us. I promise I will do my best to show you grace, and hopefully you will extend it back to me.   Thirteen! So much to look forward to. This year you'll be at Boy Scout camp for three weeks, two of them completely on your own. You're hoping to savor this year as your last year as a camper.  Since you joined the scouting program all you've wanted to do is work at camp. I'm excited for you to do this. I'm excited...

When I found this mug for my littlest I had no idea how much JOY it would bring me. Every time I open my cabinet door and see it I just think of how far he has come. This time last year his medical team was reminding me that even though he was two I needed to think of him as a 9 month old. He didn’t know how to play, he mostly just dumped things, even things he loved and was excited about-including drinks and meals. Accepting snuggles was hard for him. On December 17th, 2019 he fell earning himself a small concussion and processed pain for the first time. He had very few words, he mostly just screamed and grunted. I spent hours working with him, following the advice of his therapist, wondering if we would ever move forward... Ten months later I was buying this mug for him because I thought he was ready. It’s been a long time since he’s dumped his drinks, food, toys. He finds new words every single day. He’s learned to play, snuggle, and feel pain. He’s begun to learn cause and effect. ...

It’s hard to believe a whole year has gone by.  It’s been such a mixed up year, hasn’t it? We’ve missed our friends and I’ve missed watching you learn Taekwondo.  But we’ve had some pretty sweet memories mixed into the year of Covid. 2020 began with you and I taking a little weekend retreat away.  A treat you gave me, after a year of saving and using your birthday money. You are a giver. Always willing to give.  When I asked you what you wanted for your birthday you told me money so you could buy your cousins the best Christmas gift even though in the moment you had no idea what exactly the best gift was. By now that’s the kind of answer I expected from you.  You see life differently than most, I think.  You find joy in seeing joy from other people. That’s not what most people do. You see a need and you do whatever you can to fill it.  In February I got to sit next to you at your very first concert with Jeremy Camp and Casting Crowns. In between sets y...

14 years ago today in the early afternoon we stood in front of an auditorium full of witnesses to our confessions of forever together. Through the good and the bad, the easy and the hard, sickness and health we promised each other that we would walk together for as long as we walked this earth.  Our purpose was to love Jesus and people. In 14 years so much has happened.  We’ve had three children, both experienced deep loss, pushed through exhaustion, for seven years-half our marriage-it felt as though we were simply sitting and waiting, the other seven felt like a wild river pulling us on, you’ve given me a million foot rubs, and I’ve made you a million tasty treats, you have worked long hours while I stayed home with the kids and vice versa. Through it all we’ve stayed true to our commitment to each other. Through it all we’ve stayed true to loving Jesus and people. It doesn’t matter how small or large our circle is we find a way to love people hard. Over the years I think we...

Sometimes I forget that my Happy One was born addicted to somewhere between four and seven different drugs coursing through his five-pound body. He suffered through withdrawals for a solid four months. He didn't learn to roll over until his first birthday. He didn't hold a bottle or feed himself until he was eighteen months old. He didn't know how to process pain until he was twenty-nine months old, just two months ago. He went through six months of feeding therapy and still struggles with gagging. He is two and a half and at times the specialist refers to his maturity as that of a nine month old. He takes everything in. He struggles to get thoughts out. He has impulse control issues. He has had all the therapies: occupational, speech, physical, and we're in the beginnings of behavioral. He has his very own case manager to help me navigate the world of special needs.   Sometimes I forget that he’s adopted and that his genetics are not mine. Sometimes I forget that even ...

Hey Baby! -- That's what I say to you all the time.  Last night when you on your way to bed you gave me a hug and said, "night baby"... Your words are such gifts to me.  This fall will mark two years of speech therapy.  You have come so far. I love the way you are beginning to play with words as you find new combinations to try out on us. My favorite thing about you is that when you smile your whole face lights up.  You truly are my Happy One. This past year you have grown up so much.  Physically you are a giant. My guess is that you will be the biggest brother when you reach adulthood. It has been a long time since we've had any feeding issues.  The only thing you have left to learn is that if your in the middle of chewing something and you see something better you can swallow what you are chewing, you do not have to spit it out to get the next thing. Your words are coming, mostly in nouns, but they are beginning to fall out of your mouth.  It's ...