Joyfully Overloaded

It was almost twenty years ago now and I don’t even remember who the speaker was, but I was sitting in a crowd of people from all over the world on opening weekend, my very first year over seas. The speaker was challenging us to find our own personal Board of Directors to help guide us through life. He said we needed people from different stages of life: some who walked behind us that we could encourage on, and some right beside us, and lastly some that were ahead of us in their journeys that could be a becon of light to us.  As I sat thinking through the people in my life who might be on my Board of Directors I knew that as long as I was willing she would be one of my advisors... For  the rest of her life she was. Just a few days before I got on the plane she told me she prayed for me every single day. Over the years she would remind me that she was still praying. When life was hard I knew that I always had her standing before Jesus on my behalf. I shared with her always ...

Last night my Strong Man and I made our first decision about our teenager. Even though he’s still 18 months away from officially being one. There is a National Boy Scout event that only happens every four years. The next one is in 2021 and now is the time to apply. The commitment is big. He’ll have basically two troops his local one and then a troop that is formed just for this event. The scouts will have to raise approximately $2,000 each and will have to do some physical training in preparation. Just because he applies it doesn’t mean he’ll be accepted. It’ll happen in West Virginia and will be about two weeks time. Neither Strong Man or myself will be attending. I would love to go as a staff member, but my babe will be four and will be getting ready to go to pre-K. He needs to be with people that have had specilized training to help him learn academically. While we feel strongly about homeschooling the big ones I feel strongly that he needs to be in a school system. The idea...

Today my two year old and I were playing trains on the the living room floor when he jumped up and ran into the kitchen. I assumed he was getting a forgotten train or car to add to the mix until I heard the crunch of 10 eggs hitting the floor. My big ones jumped into action by watching over him in the tub while I scrubbed the floors for the second time in a week. At first through barred teeth I sarcastically chanted, “ Praise Jesus... Hallelujah... Life is good...” but as I cleaned I remembered another two year old who once put a mixing bowl on the table and tried to add eggs so he could cook like Momma.  His favorite thing to do has always been to serve people, even back then while eggs dripped from the table to the floor he was trying to love me the way he had seen me love him. 2011 Ah and I realized life really is good. These moments will pass quickly. While I think the motives may have been different I am thankful to be a Momma of this boy. I really can’t im...

I found this tucked away in my school cabinet:   We didn't end up buying a truck load of food for the orphans that year, instead we brought home and fell in love with our very own orphan.  We got blurry eyed and stopped writing our joys on little notes so we never made it to 208, but we gushed over every sound he made.  We did a little less fishing that year too.   Just got home from the hospital. Five days old. Even though none of our goals were met I still consider it to be one of the best years of our lives.   Meeting our third son. Falling in love with him. Learning to love deeply, even though we had no idea he would be ours until 2019. Letting go of fear. Learning to trust in ways that cannot be put into words. Real life photo op right here. His shirt reads: Current Family Favorite I will forever be thankful that our plans changed that year.

This summer has been full of the unexpected.  I have seen a neurologist, a rheumatologist, mental health, a Lyme specialist, and a sleep doctor.  I have had an EEG done, nerve testing on all my limbs, multiple MRI's, and had my blood studied.  I have woken in the middle of the night to severe pain, and wondered if I should ask my Strong Man to call 911.  I have asked God if I was dying. My Strong man has woken in the middle of the night and asked me if he needed to take me to the hospital.  He has missed work to take me to walk in care because I can't walk without holding onto the wall.  Every test comes back normal, but my family has watched me drop the milk simply because my hands were too weak.  They've watched me writhe in pain as they put ice packs on my head. We have moved our whole family to one floor because some days I struggle to walk upstairs.  Getting ready for the EEG. It has been a hard summer, full of unexpected things....

We just finished our end of the year standardized testing, on a Saturday.  It was a perfect ending to a difficult year.  The boys tested while taking antibiotics for yet again-Strep.  It truly followed the pattern of our year, let me show you... Our little wild card, er I mean "helper" - This year my kids were sick, including a hospital stay for one, and multiple rounds of antibiotics for all. - This year we started school three weeks late. - This year instead of organizing life around our school days, school was organized around life. - This year we went on vacation three weeks after school started. - This year I learned to teach with a toddler by my side, or mostly I learned that teaching works best while said toddler sleeps. - This year my biggest boy switched curriculum half way through the school year. - This year I felt like all we did was play catch up from the day before. This year I felt disorganized. This year many of our school days happ...

Some days my boy who enjoys anything book or school based sets his face, looks me square in the eye and says, "I don't care if these tests are required I want to burn them." Some days I ask my biggest boy to change out of his shorts into pants for scouts, and you'd think that he'd been asked to cut his own arm off.  After he spews words of frustration and anger he walks away mumbling his first, "Whatever." Some days when it's time to go grocery shopping, but my one year old wants to play in the pouring rain so he follows me around the house screaming at me while I pack his diaper bag. Some days I find myself breathing deep, and wondering what has happened to my usually well behaved children.  When these days happen I know it's time to slow.  We snuggle a little bit more.  We have dance parties in the kitchen.  My phone is set aside.  We put aside our tasks, as they can wait for another day, and we begin to fix our hearts.  I give them sp...

While I can't stop laughing at this photo I also can't help but think of this caption: "Girl, your whole world might be upside down right now, but you are loved more then you'll ever know."