Joyfully Overloaded

This month in front of the kids we shared some deep unintentional hurts we each have caused the other. In the middle of our conversation, while the kids sat quiet in the back seat, we told the kids we loved each other and were committed to each other. They said they knew and it was good to share hurts. Smart kids. A humbling moment. Two years ago I would encourage you to sleep in the guest room but you wanted to be near me in case I stopped breathing. I would tell you that after you mourned my death to find a mother for our boys. We were pretty sure I would die before the doctors figured out what was making me so sick. Five years ago you worked a job that required all of your time, a 16 hour day was nothing. The boys and I picked up as much of your chores as we could so that we could rest as a family when you were home. Eight years ago you went part time so I could take a restaurant general manager’s position, one more thing marked off my bucket list. While I worked you loved on the bo...

One of the things that drew Charlie and I together was how the other loved Jesus. One of my favorite things about Jesus is that he respects our freedom of choice. Humans can be well intentioned pushy, forceful people who run others over “in the name of Jesus” because we think that’s what “love” is. But it’s not. And Jesus, he won’t do that to you.  This belief that Jesus isn’t pushy and gives us freedom of choice has shaped our whole lives, including the way we raise our family. So in the Christian faith it’s a big deal to be baptized. It’s not a magic pill or miracle cure, it’s simply a public way of saying, “I trust Jesus and am willing to completely change the course of my life for him.”  We’ve never pushed our boys into anything spiritual. Yes, we talk about Jesus all the time because we’re so deeply committed to him, but we believe with every fiber of our being that Jesus is the living God and he wants a PERSONAL relationship with each of us. So pushing our kids into that...

 My Happy One, I say it every year, but this year let me say it louder than the others, you have grown and matured beyond what I imagined would be possible a year ago. You've crossed so many mile stone. Words explode from your mouth sometimes just for fun. You sing all the time, and my heart explodes every single time I hear it. I love driving you to school in the mornings. It's your time to control the music, as we jam out to songs like, Wake Me Up, Not My Home, Happy Dance, Way Maker, and the list goes on. I trust you not to throw things in the toilet after a year or more of fishing things out that don't belong. In fact you regularly use the toilet these days, but sleep like a rock no matter how wet your bed gets at night. Ha! Every year gets better Crash-man. Honestly I don't know where to start as I think through this past year. You've started school and had your first run in with the police. Yep, there was this one time you decided to go for a walk, at night, i...

Man of the Woods, Wow, 13! You birth me into motherhood every single day.  You and I we're entering uncharted territory. I'm excited and to be honest a bit scared.  These years are the transition years where you fully step out of childhood and step into adulthood. You have to really put into practice all the things we've tried to teach you. You have to decide what kind of man you are going to be. While we have to let you make mistakes and fall so you can learn while you're still in the safety of our home.  It's going to be weird for all of us. I promise I will do my best to show you grace, and hopefully you will extend it back to me.   Thirteen! So much to look forward to. This year you'll be at Boy Scout camp for three weeks, two of them completely on your own. You're hoping to savor this year as your last year as a camper.  Since you joined the scouting program all you've wanted to do is work at camp. I'm excited for you to do this. I'm excited...

When I found this mug for my littlest I had no idea how much JOY it would bring me. Every time I open my cabinet door and see it I just think of how far he has come. This time last year his medical team was reminding me that even though he was two I needed to think of him as a 9 month old. He didn’t know how to play, he mostly just dumped things, even things he loved and was excited about-including drinks and meals. Accepting snuggles was hard for him. On December 17th, 2019 he fell earning himself a small concussion and processed pain for the first time. He had very few words, he mostly just screamed and grunted. I spent hours working with him, following the advice of his therapist, wondering if we would ever move forward... Ten months later I was buying this mug for him because I thought he was ready. It’s been a long time since he’s dumped his drinks, food, toys. He finds new words every single day. He’s learned to play, snuggle, and feel pain. He’s begun to learn cause and effect. ...

It’s hard to believe a whole year has gone by.  It’s been such a mixed up year, hasn’t it? We’ve missed our friends and I’ve missed watching you learn Taekwondo.  But we’ve had some pretty sweet memories mixed into the year of Covid. 2020 began with you and I taking a little weekend retreat away.  A treat you gave me, after a year of saving and using your birthday money. You are a giver. Always willing to give.  When I asked you what you wanted for your birthday you told me money so you could buy your cousins the best Christmas gift even though in the moment you had no idea what exactly the best gift was. By now that’s the kind of answer I expected from you.  You see life differently than most, I think.  You find joy in seeing joy from other people. That’s not what most people do. You see a need and you do whatever you can to fill it.  In February I got to sit next to you at your very first concert with Jeremy Camp and Casting Crowns. In between sets y...