Joyfully Overloaded

Tonight for the very first time I got to snuggle MY son to sleep while he snuggled his favorite fox. We have done this hundreds of times before, but tonight was different. Every night I dream of my boys futures. I pray for the soon to be men I am influencing. I hope and dream for their futures, that we teach them to be men of character, leaders in their own unique way. I remember their strengths and wonder how I can help them grow in their weaknesses. I pray all of these thin gs, but for this one I pray more. I pray that he would be in a family where he would know he is loved. I pray that his people would always protect him and keep him safe, taking care of his needs. But I also pray for my heart that if he's not meant to be mine that I would have the strength to worship like Hannah of the Bible did when she said goodbye to her son. That's how I have prayed every night up until tonight...My happy heart snuggled him close and saw that God said yes to so many of my prayers. I hav...

It's official, he's our Happy One!

Let's talk about friends, family, and community. Have you ever read about what the very first church was like in the book of Acts? It was a fearful time, Jesus was no longer physically on the scene and this new group was emerging. They weren't really sure what to do so they just started doing what they had seen Jesus do. That's my heart and biggest goal in life to love people like Jesus did. After Silas and I talked that day we sat down as a family and asked each other what w e could do to be like him. We all agreed helping hurting families was the best next step for us. We all agreed that Silas was on to something. That first hospital stay we began to experience ourselves what it was like to be loved in a Jesus way. People snuck into our house and left breakfast in our freezer for when we got back from the hospital, others made meals, I was given so many clothes and baby gear that I ended up donating some of it to other foster families, at one point we had strangers mowing...

People ask my big ones if they are excited to have a little brother. They always smile kindly and then say something about how they are. The truth is they've had a little brother for the last 20 months. Last week he came to a scout meeting with us and he almost took out a few of the scouts with the flag pole. He's really good at destroying the big ones special towers, and ripping up school projects if they are left unattended. They are his two most favorite people to pla y with, while they work on school stuff he'll stand in the doorway hollering their names hoping they will come play with him. They have helped make bottles, get diapers, give baths, they have snuggled him to sleep, played hard, and helped him learn to grow into a boy. When they talk about the adoption they say things like, "Finally, he'll have our last name." "Soon, Mom, you won't have to write everything about him down." "Once he's adopted we won't have so many appo...

In preparation for our wedding day we wanted the world to know that our lives, our marriage, and our future family wasn't about us-it was about Jesus. We sat together and we wrote out all the ways God prepared and brought us together. We wanted our wedding to be a glimpse of the wedding feast talked about in the Bible. We wanted to always look back on that day and be reminded that we are just a small part of a much bigger story, that all we need to do is worship the Creato r. All three of our boys have taught us to worship God even in the hard. Silas, was very sick. We ran test after test. They even thought he might have a blockage in his belly called pyloric stenosis. Turned out to be a milk allergy. We couldn't afford the formula, it costs hundreds of dollars a month. So we prayed. A few days later we received a check saying we over paid our doctor, and then another check saying we over paid our car insurance, together those checks covered a months worth of formula. Then a ca...

...As I put him in his car seat at the hospital how he would change my heart. I thought I was in this to help other people, but I think I've grown and changed more then anybody. They say there is no love like that of a mothers love, but he has taught me that there is a love that runs even deeper, a perfectly pure, selfless Love. As I tucked that little blanket over him for the very first time I had no idea that soon I would begin learning I couldn't both be f ull of fear and full of love, that I would have to choose one. Over the next year in a half he would have two hospital stays, one surgery, 100 medical appointments, he would teeth without putting a single thing in his mouth-not even his fingers, he wouldn't learn to roll over until after he turned one, and the list goes on... At times I would be so overwhelmed with fear for his future my legs would refuse to hold me. I would have to choose to say yes to loving not just him, but everybody involved or give into my fears ...

We got our foster license on June 29th and met our boy on July 29th. It was a long month of waiting for me. I had been nesting for months, and had been getting calls about kids for weeks, but none of those kids ended up needing us. In the mean time I worked hard to slow and be in the moment with my big boys, because I knew that our lives were about to be turned upside down. My sweet December baby decided to have a half birthday party at the beach. My biggest boy and I were he aded to Cub Scout camp for the very first time. It was good for all of us. Then our very last night at cub camp I got a phone call. It's was the first call to come through that week, and it was to ask if I'd be willing to take a new born baby boy for a month. They wouldn't discharge him from the NICU until the next day because I needed six or seven hours with the nurses to learn how to take care of him. I barely slept that night, I showered at home in the morning and then left to meet the boy who would...

It's almost adoption day! This boy my first born started this whole wild adventure. The same month our babe was conceived was the same month Man of the woods sat me down to have this conversation: Si: Mom you're a good Mom and Dad's a good Dad. Some kids need to be loved right?  Me: Yes. Si: So why don't you do it? Me: hmm, I don't have a good answer for you. I'll have to get back to you. Strong Man had been asking me for ten years to be a foster parent with him and for ten years I had straight up said no. But after talking with Man of the woods I realized I didn't have any good reasons to say no. That same day I began praying for and about the child we would take in. In my mind that child was always hiding behind the couch or under a bed, and the child was a girl. Really HE was growing and waiting to be birthed into the world. I've been told he's a miracle child. After mothering him I tend to agree, he's my miracle child, created for m...