Nightly prayers from my Momma's heart

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Tonight for the very first time I got to snuggle MY son to sleep while he snuggled his favorite fox. We have done this hundreds of times before, but tonight was different. Every night I dream of my boys futures. I pray for the soon to be men I am influencing. I hope and dream for their futures, that we teach them to be men of character, leaders in their own unique way. I remember their strengths and wonder how I can help them grow in their weaknesses. I pray all of these things, but for this one I pray more. I pray that he would be in a family where he would know he is loved. I pray that his people would always protect him and keep him safe, taking care of his needs. But I also pray for my heart that if he's not meant to be mine that I would have the strength to worship like Hannah of the Bible did when she said goodbye to her son. That's how I have prayed every night up until tonight...My happy heart snuggled him close and saw that God said yes to so many of my prayers. I have worked not to ask God to give him to me, because was created for a different woman. My goal was to help hurting families heal. But tonight I soaked in the gift of being a Momma one more time. I was glad I didn't have to say goodbye like Hannah. I dreamed of all the normal family stuff we will do together. Tonight I imagined him in his little Cub Scout class A, or Taekwondo uniform, or maybe he will choose something else. I thanked God that I get to watch him graduate, and get married. I wondered if he would fall off a swing like Silas and break his arm, or maybe a bed like Isaac, but I thanked God that no matter what happened I would get to be the one to hold him close. As I write I'm in a hotel room outside of Maine still snuggled close to him thankful that I don't have to have written permission to be here. I'm thankful today that when people asked his name I could tell them what it was. I'm thankful that I can finally show you my WHOLE family, the full picture of what's happening in our lives. Tonight I'm thankful that my family gets to be a normal everyday family. I am thankful that God has a bigger imagination then me. I am thankful that He gave this boy to me.
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